


alle wollen nur dich zähmen

by moon_waves



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reise Reise Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-30 15:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_waves/pseuds/moon_waves
Summary: A ghost from his past comes haunting Richard at an afterparty, leading to Till's intervention.





	alle wollen nur dich zähmen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FrauFeuerengel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrauFeuerengel/gifts).

> Written for the hurt/comfort prompt n°24: “I need to get out of here. I can’t breathe.”
> 
> Darling, I hope you'll like it 💖.

> **“I need to get out of here. I can’t breathe.”**

_Dresden, December 2004._

“Alright,” Till murmured quietly before grabbing Richard by the elbow, tearing him away from the crowd that seemed to keep growing in the room they were throwing their afterparty in.

The pleasant buzz that had started to grow after a couple of drinks was already disappearing, replaced by cold dread going down his spine in front of Richard’s paleness, accented by his black clothes. If he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought him to be sick – or worse – but the way Richard had reached out to him, eyes focused and terribly dark, had put some of his fears to rest.

The room was definitely becoming overcrowded, making it difficult to avoid all the fans who were lounging around, a few girls here and there getting really close to them – and he wished people would just stop touching him _all the fucking time_.

The door was getting closer and yet still so far away, and Till could feel Richard starting to shake slightly under his hand, worry gnawing at the bottom of his stomach. The last thing they needed right now was an incident that would end in tabloids – they had enough focus on them with _Mein Teil_ and the associated music video, thank you. 

He spotted Schneider across the room and managed to catch his eyes, raising one eyebrow in what had become their go-to signal asking for a diversion – of which he was usually the principal beneficiary. Thankfully, the drummer wasn’t inebriated enough that he couldn’t come up with something on the spot, and he quickly got hold of Ollie, getting handsy enough with him that he was sure to attract all eyes on them, allowing for Till and Richard to disappear in peace, leather jackets thrown over their shoulders.

Fortunately, the corridors were empty and they quickly made their way outside, the heavy metal door banging behind them against the wall. Richard almost tripped while going down the three steps of the emergency staircase – if it could be called so – and would have fallen against the pavement if Till hadn’t tightened his hold around his arm, steadying him on his feet.

“Sit down,” he suggested quietly, quickly scanning their surroundings to make sure no one was around.

The street behind the venue was empty, and poorly lit as well – their only source of light came from a buzzing light–bulb next to the emergency sign, the sound a telltale information they were soon going to be plunged in near darkness. The few windows in front of them were dark and the rooms behind them appeared to be empty – offices, if Till wasn’t mistaken. As one would expect, no one was inside now that their show was over, and it was as well. 

Passersby and fans alike weren’t around either – it was too cold for that, and those who were only here for the music had had their fill already. As for the others, well... they were still inside, taking advantage of the heating system of the venue, if nothing else.

Richard plopped down on the steps and put his head in his hands, taking a huge inspiration. He was shaking slightly and Till knew it wasn’t only because of the coldness of the December night.

“Rich,” he said quietly, carefully sitting down on his left before putting a hand on his shoulder.

Richard tensed for the briefest moment before relaxing slightly, and Till started moving his hand in circles on Richard’s back, trying to get him to calm down. It did look like a panic attack to his eyes – or at least the beginning of one – but he preferred to hear it firsthand rather than work on a (mistaken) assumption.

“I thought I saw someone,” Richard mumbled after a time, voice none too assured, finally taking his hands from his face and turning his head slightly to look at Till.

He was livid under the pale light that was coming from above them, and Till felt himself frown, his hand moving up to Richard’s neck, his thumb stroking the cold skin underneath. 

Richard was playing with his scarf, not bothering to put it around his neck, obviously needing to keep his hands busy – and not with a cigarette, for once.

“Someone,” he repeated slowly, one eyebrow raised in interrogation.

“Over us, at the bar,” Richard mumbled, looking back to the pavement, still shaking. “With the girls wearing leather mini–skirts.”

There had been plenty of those for sure and Till felt his frown deepen as he tried to remember the faces of the various people that had gathered there.

“There was one guy with a light brown leather jacket and a plaid polo underneath? In his fifties?”

Richard’s voice was very soft and hesitant and Till nudged him closer to him until their sides were firmly pressed together, trying to collect his memories of the evening. A guy in his fifties wasn’t a regular occurrence in their afterparties, and he focused as much as possible, until he remembered having seen the man.

“Blond guy with glasses?” He absentmindedly set his scarf a little tighter around his throat, eyes gazing away. “Didn’t he stick to water?”

That, most of all, had gotten his attention, and he had thought pretty weird when he had noticed it – but then pretty girls had flocked to him, and all thoughts of strangers’ drinking habits had fled his mind.

“Yeah, him,” Richard said in a miserable voice, curling a little on himself.

“Well, what about him?” Till asked gently, trying not to let his worry show too much – he knew it was a doomed attempt, but Richard didn’t deal well with over-worry either, and they had managed to find a relative equilibrium over the years.

At least Richard went easily when Till nudged him closer, tucking himself under his arm, arms crossed around his legs. Till’s hand moved from Richard’s neck to his hair, petting it gently, worry digging a hole into his stomach. It was unusual for Richard to be so shaken – especially after a show, when they were all still pumped up on the energy that came from the crowd. 

“He looked like...” Richard let out a laugh that sounded like a sob before putting his hand on his mouth, trying to get his breathing under control. “He looked like one of the men who interrogated me in Berlin, only fifteen years older.”

A bucket of ice fell down Till’s head at his words and he tensed, stopping all movement until Richard nudged his hand again, turning his head to look at him. His breathing was still uneven and he looked almost sick now, the paleness of his skin turning to ashen undertones.

Till understood the feeling.

Dresden wasn’t such a strange hide-out for whoever wanted to leave Berlin while still remaining in what used to be the GDR, but it sure was distant enough from the capital that one wouldn’t risk coming across their victims – if one wanted to avoid such an encounter, of course.

“Are you sure it was him?” he asked slowly, scanning their surroundings once again before focusing on Richard.

Who nodded without a word, utter misery plain on his face as he turned to look at the ground once again.

“As much as I can be, anyway,” he added quietly, before words started pouring from him. “I wasn’t sure at first – you never know, people can change in fifteen years, I mean, we sure did, and I didn’t understand what one of these guys would be doing to one of our shows, and how he could have gotten to the party anyway, so I waited to be sure, and he looked at me, right in the eyes, and he _smiled at me_, you should have seen his smile Till, it was...”

“Shh, it’s over now,” Till whispered in his hair, the ice at the bottom of his stomach slowly turning into pure anger.

Thoughts of vengeance flew through his mind but he pushed them away, knowing there was something more important to do than go back inside and give the Stasi guard a piece of his mind – and a taste of his flamethrower. 

He pressed his lips against his lover’s hair, trying to ground him in the present – their shared present, not the horrors of the past. Richard shivered under his hold and turned his head to look at him, their noses almost brushing. They shared an exhale before kissing – Richard’s lips were cold under his but he didn’t care, one hand still holding onto Richard’s hair while the other rested on top his knee, grounding them both.

The kiss was short but Richard looked slightly better once they separated, the brittle expression on his face having abated a little.

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” Till said in a low voice, tugging Richard by the wrist to get him back on his feet. “We’re going back to my room, you’re going to take a hot shower while I order some food, we eat, and then sleep.”

“We can’t leave the guys like that...” Richard mumbled in a hesitant tone, split between his desire to go back the hotel and his desire not to let anyone know that something was amiss.

“Doom covered for us when we left,” Till pointed out gently, already going back up the concrete steps, Richard obediently following close behind. “We will have some explaining to do tomorrow, but let’s worry about that in due time.”

It was a testament to how shaken Richard was that he didn’t put more of a fight, rather letting himself being steered by Till to where he deemed it fit for the rest of the night. Till entertained the idea of coming back to the room to take care of the Stasi guard for a brief moment before definitely forgetting about it. The men who had interrogated and tortured Richard during those fateful days of October 1989 had a prominent place in the list of people he really meant to set on fire, but even though vengeance was in his reach, he knew there was someone more important to take care of first.

The corridors were still empty when they got back inside the venue and Till started suspecting someone was behind it – but he accepted that small blessing without trying to find the ins and outs, focusing instead on finding a ride back to their hotel. Oh, they could have walked back there – but the smell in the air was a telltale sign of snow to come, and he wanted to get back to his room as soon as possible.

The security staff of the venue was still around and called a taxi for them, no question asked, curiosity hidden behind a professional mask. Till knew they were probably asking themselves some questions, but their current rockstar statue allowed them some eccentricities he did feel inclined to take advantage of, tonight. Richard was still brimming with nervous energy behind, and he knew it was only a matter of time before his lover came crashing down – and it was much better for it to happen in the safety of his hotel room.

The ride back to the hotel was a short one and they made their way to his room quickly enough, luckily avoiding everyone from the hotel staff – or their own – until they reached their destination. Only once the door closed behind them did Till allow himself to relax ever so slightly, flicking the lights on before turning towards Richard, studying him with attention.

His lover looked like shit, and on the verge of breaking down, the paleness of his skin accented by the huge bags under his eyes. He was shivering slightly, despite the comfortable heat of the room, and made no move to take off his jacket, scarf still in his hands rather than around his neck.

“Time for a shower,” Till reminded him gently, before stepping closer to Richard to help him take off jacket.

Richard barely reacted when his jacket fell on the ground, instead looking at him with a darkness in his eyes that Till was too familiar with, much to his displeasure. This had been a look Richard had borne far too often during the winter of 1989/1990, and then more recently when he had fallen deep into the well of cocaine addiction, before putting himself through rehab.

“Shower,” Richard repeated flatly, scarf sliding down from his fingers to the ground as well.

Till approached him as he would have done with a wounded animal, slowly and carefully, gently cupping his cheeks before bringing their foreheads together, noses brushing against one another.

“A warm shower, clean clothes and then some food before sleep,” he said calmly, thumbs stroking across Richard’s cold skin.

A full body shiver shook Richard and he closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again, brittleness still present. The darkness seemed to have abated a little and he tilted his head a little to kiss Till, holding onto his wrists. Their lips softly moved against one another and Till felt some of the tension he was carrying disappear.

A whine escaped him when they separated and a brief smile appeared on Richard’s face before he let go of Till’s hands, fingers stroking across the skin. Words seemed to evade him for the time being and he disappeared into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

Sighing, Till sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands for a brief moment, trying to get his breathing under control. Blood was buzzing in his ears and he focused on his heartbeat, forcing himself to relax before calling room service to order some food. His voice was assured enough when he placed his order and he nodded to himself once it was done, taking advantage of the few minutes he had before Richard went out of his shower to change into more comfortable clothes, putting their jackets away in the closet. He then rummaged through his suitcase to find something suitable to hand over to his lover before setting aside a pair of boxers, sweatpants that belonged to Richard for sure – how it had ended in _his_ suitcase, he wasn’t sure, but it was as well – and a plain black tee-shirt.

The tray full of food was barely on the nightstand when Richard left the bathroom, one towel loosely draped over his hips, while he was vigorously drying his hair with another. Till left his eyes roam over his body, taking in his appearance with a critical eye – he still hadn’t quite regained all the weight he had lost while addicted an then in rehab, and afterwards during the last months of his marriage before it had imploded, but he looked mostly alright in the dim light of the room, which was enough for the time being.

He looked a bit more like himself as he made a beeline to the bed before putting on the clothes laid out on the mattress with slow moves, tiredness having obviously settled over him.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Till said while gesturing at the bed before taking care of the towels, slightly taken aback by the heat in the bathroom when he walked in it.

It had barely been hotter on stage earlier that evening, and he felt his heart clench a little before taking an extremely quick shower, barely noticing the lukewarm water. Richard was half-lying down and half-sitting in the bed when he came out, a few pillows propped up against his back, checking his phone with a disinterested look on his face.

“Doom said they’re not expecting to see us until breakfast tomorrow,” he said in a low voice, raising his eyes towards Till as he walked up to the bed. “And that we should take care of your throat tonight, too.”

Till rolled his eyes a little, biting back an amused huff before settling the tray of food on Richard’s legs, making sure everything was all set before hoping onto the bed. Richard curled against his side as soon as he was sitting down, hungrier for shared body heat than for food.

“He knows us too well,” Till mumbled, brushing his lips against Richard’s forehead before reaching for the tray of food.

There was pink roasted duck breast and dry aged roast beef, both plates accompanied with vegetables and potatoes, as well as two huge slices of _Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte_ – for dessert, in all due time. They barely had to exchange a look before reaching for the plates, both already knowing what the other would take.

Eating was a short, silent matter and their plates were soon emptied, Richard already yawning by the time they were done. Till put the tray away, only keeping a plate of Kirschtorte with a spoon in his hands. Richard had turned to his side in the meantime, upper body half still propped, eyes half-closed and following Till’s every move.

He still wasn’t used to that kind of attention – probably never would be, at this rate – and he looked at Richard in silence for a moment, taking in the shadows his eyelashes were drawing onto his cheeks, food forgotten in his lap.

“You’re staring,” Richard mumbled, putting one hand on his thigh, the gesture domestic enough that Till almost choked up.

His breath caught in his throat when he realized that Richard was looking at him like it was worthy of worship – _him_.

“You’re one to talk,” he said quietly in return, one hand moving down to start petting Richard’s hair.

“I’m waiting for dessert,” Richard mumbled, licking his lips before tilting his head a little, still with _that_ raw expression on his face.

Till had rarely been able to refuse him anything – even less when he was looking at him in such a way – and started cutting into the cake, offering the spoon to Richard, who took the food offered as if it were a rare delicacy. They slowly ate the first part of Kirschtorte, Richard intent on the two of them having their turn at the dessert, until the plate was empty on Till’s lap.

The faint sound of snow hitting the windows could be heard and Till put his hand in Richard’s hair again, gently stroking it.

He curled against his pillow and sighed a little, blinking a few times before opening his eyes to stare at Till. The softness in his expression couldn’t hide the brittleness in his eyes and Till put the plate away before settling down into the bed, bringing Richard close to him.

His lips tasted of chocolate and cherries, and Till licked the remnants of whipped cream away, Richard sighing happily against him. They were closer now than they had been all evening, legs intertwined and hands reacquainting themselves with their bodies, the touch firm and gentle. Till nibbled at Richard’s lip, making him moan quietly – he was always so quiet in moment like these – and tasted the kirsch on his tongue as the kiss deepened.

Richard was still holding onto him for dear life, brittleness still present in his eyes, moaning into his mouth every time he pressed his hands a little too tight onto his skin, knowing there would be faint traces in the morning. Their embrace steadily grew more heated and Till took the lead, knowing this was one fireproof way to make the shadows in Richard’s eyes disappear.

The union of the bodies, to soothe the aches of the soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought of it :)
> 
> [tumblr](https://ghostlovesc0re.tumblr.com/).


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